My Fern Fury

I did something really dumb this year...

I wintered my precious, precious ferns :-(

When I found out about a local wintering program this past Fall, I was ecstatic.  I was on my second set of hanging Boston ferns (the first set didn't make through our unusually cool Spring) and they were thriving.  I was worried about keeping them inside our house for two reasons.  One--I wasn't sure if we had the proper lighting levels and two--I didn't want to deal with the constantly shedding fronds.  I knew that by wintering ferns, they obviously wouldn't die, but they would continue to grow and just get bigger, and  bigger and BIGGER.

I have to admit that when looking at this picture, they don't seem THAT big.  This picture was taken in the summer time and they had grown even more before I took them to the greenhouse.  In fact, I could only fit one of them in the backseat of my Altima, if that says anything about how large they had gotten!

I took my sweet, precious ferns in around late October and picked them up in early April.

I thought I was going to cry by the time it was all said and done.

When I walked into the greenhouse, I saw two itty-bitty, wimpy ferns planted in old buckets sitting by the door.  I didn't pay them much attention because heck, mine were insanely huge compared to those!  In fact, I kinda felt sorry for whoever was getting those ferns!

I filled out the paperwork, paid the bill and asked where my ferns were--I was so excited to have my "babies" back!  The gal said, "They're right there!" and pointed at the wimpy ferns planted in the bucket...I looked at the ferns, then looked at her and said, "Uh, those aren't my ferns."

After a few minutes of trying to convince her that those were not my ferns, she showed me the stake that had been stuck in the dirt.  Lo and behold, my name was on the stake.  I explained to her that my ferns were huge--like, big enough that one of them alone took up an entire backseat--and had been in hanging baskets...not buckets.  I was convinced that someone had gotten a set of ferns confused and some lucky person walked out with some impressive "growth" in their ferns.

She explained that my roots had outgrown their hanging baskets--which, I didn't doubt one bit.  Thus, they transplanted them into the buckets and clipped off all the dead foliage.  I knew my ferns had a few dry fronds, but enough to trim them down to absolutely nothing?!?!  I wasn't buying it.

In fact, I'm still not buying it.  She tried to ease my fears by saying there are "millions" of babies just waiting to pop up--again, I don't doubt that one bit.  But I thought the point of wintering plants was to have them ready to put on display when the weather was nice again!

At this rate, I'm not sure when the ferns will be big enough to hang.  I could go ahead and do it, but they'd look so ridiculously unproportional to our porch.  Just thinking about it starts to bring tears of fury and disappointment to my eyes.

My two ferns in their new "home" on the porch floor.  I have to admit, they HAVE grown since I picked them up a month ago--but they're still nowhere close to their original size.  Oh, well!

Ever since picking up the ferns nearly 1 month ago, J-Money and I have been going round and round about buying a new set.  Of course, I want to get two new ones--and it really didn't help any when all the local stores starting bringing out their big ol' full ferns.  It was like they were just rubbing it in my face!  Justin keeps telling me to be patient and accept that at some point, they'll be big again--and my response is, "Yeah, like next year."  I want my ferns NOW!  And yes, I am being a whiney little kid about it :-)

Finally, last night, J-Money gave in.  I got my mileage reimbursement check in the mail and it was a whopping $25.  Yeah, gas is $4/gallon, but you know our reimbursement rate still bites when I'm getting paid $25 for all the driving that I do.  I digress...but anyhow, Justin told me that I could take the reimbursement money and go buy a set of new ferns.  So, I did.  Yayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy!

In all situations, I try to find the positive.   I figure this experience may actually end up working out very, very well.  My need for instant gratification was met when I picked up my new set of ferns...if the wintered ferns ever catch up, then I'll have the 4 hanging ferns that I always wanted!  Then, our porch will really feel like the Southern porch that I want to create for my husband.  Granted, I'm not sure what I'll do with the ferns come winter, but we may end up with a house full of shedded fronds and a super happy fern-crazy lady before it's all said and done :-)