December 22

December 22: Play Time

Today was my first day of Winter Break...last night I celebrated by staying up until 11pm and NOT freakin out about being up past my bedtime :-)  Then this morning I slept until 9am--nothing like a good, solid 10 hours of sleep to get your day started!

I had several things on my agenda, but first I needed to find a dress for the Gubernatorial Ball on January 8...I needed to take care of this ASAP since I don't always have the best luck for dresses!  I ran to the mall and after a couple hours and running into tons of people I knew (go figure, didn't do my hair or makeup this morning!!!) I found the perfect dress.  But it was too big!

I came home as Justin and I had made plans to go window shopping for a new mattress.  We are currently sleeping on a queen-size bed that he got second-hand back in college and saying we wake up in pain is an understatement...and with me clinging to the edge!  Needless to say, it's definately worn out, too small AND I think a lot of my back/hip pain has to do with the fact that he sinks while I rise on the mattress.

After we found a mattress we liked (let's just say, it will be a while before we can afford to buy it!), my car accidentally headed towards the mall in Topeka...ooops!  Hey, he's off work until January 3rd and since the correct size of dress was in Topeka, he was going with me :-)

We picked up my dress and I also found a super cute pair of shoes to go with it.  They will be perfect with dress pants and jeans as well...and did I mention they happened to be on sale?!  Definately the makings for a good day!

Since no Topeka-run can be complete without eating at Paisano's, we went there for a late lunch.  If you've never had their Artichoke & Spinach Ravioli, you're missing out!  Sounds a little iffy but the cream sauce is divine...and fat-free, right?!  Ha!

Finally, we made it back to Manhattan and have been in bed ever since watching movies.  Lame, yes.  A waste of time, yes.  Well deserved?  YES!

Granted, I didn't get half of the things done today that I planned on doing but having a little bit of play time is definately needed and my batteries already feel recharged.  I'm hoping to make up for some lost time tomorrow and get some things done...while still enjoying some more play time here and there!

December 21

December 21:  Old People.

I am not good at this whole daily blogging thing.  I give up!  Obviously, the only ones who can successfully do it are the ones who get paid for their time...and that's something I haven't had much of lately!

Anyhow, I'm thankful for old people.  Always have been.  In fact, my first two jobs out of college dealt with old people and I LOVED it!  They say what they want and do what they want--which as long as the negativity isn't directed at you, it's pretty entertaining :-)  But they can also teach you invaluable life lessons that other people just can't teach as effectively...when I worked at the HUD Senior apartments, that's pretty much when all my partying and spending went from high gear to a dead zero.  Talk about a wake up call!

I took Mitzi to Petco this afternoon to get groomed...as we were waiting at the counter, this old lady who was easily pushing 80 shuffled over to me and asked what kind of dog she was.  I kindly replied that she was a little Maltese and the lady said, "Ohhhhhh, I have a Peek-a-Poo at home and she looks almost exactly like your dog!"  I proceeded to make some comment about how I'm sure her dog was cute and then the groomer came out to talk with me and the lady went about her business.

A few minutes later, the old lady was back and had a 5x7" professional portrait of her dog to show me!  I'm used to old people carrying around pics of their grandbabies...but of their dogs?!  She was right, her little dog looked almost like Mitzi but it's hair was a bit curlier.  She was so PROUD of her dog!

I came home and told Justin what happened and he looked at me like the old lady was crazy.  But I still think it's awesome!  Apparently, she loves her dog quite a bit to have professional pics done...and it wouldn't have been the same if it was a 40-yr-old who had the pics taken of their animal.  In fact, I'd start wondering about some possible co-dependency.  But you know what? I'd have no problem being the 80-yr-old lady going around showing random strangers pictures of my dog :-)

December 15 & 16

December 15:  Humor.

During Life Skills, we were discussing how to make new friends and one suggestion from the curriculum was to give somebody a compliment.  I had the students give different examples of compliments that they would feel comfortable giving a person...things were going great and one of my more interesting 6th Graders had his hand up.  I called on him and he said in an EXTREMELY serious tone, "Ummmmmm...all of these compliments...they sound just like something you would say to someone if you wanted to make them your boyfriend or girlfriend...and help with furthering the world population."  And then he just started laughing like crazy.  Of course the entire class then became hysterical as well!  I even had to giggle myself because really, who puts it that way?!  If it weren't for humor, life would just suck at times!

December 16:  Techie people.

I am technologically challenged, to say the least.  Last week we ended up bundling our internet service with our existing Direct TV (hello, $55+/mo savings!!!) package and the modem arrived this week.  It would have helped if I remembered that DSL runs through a phone line and not your cable outlet because this meant our wireless router would not automatically work with the new modem.  Several attempts, a call to AT&T and two days later and we have our wireless router switched over...all to the thanks of my sister-in-law's brother!  I'm not kidding--it literally took him 2 seconds to do everything.  His techie abilities definately saved us some time, tons of frustration and the very likely stupid argument about how our other half doesn't know jack about internet stuff...when we have no clue what we're doing ourself!

December 14

December 14:  Secret Santa.

I received an email from one of my CASA coworkers today saying our office has adopted a family for Christmas and they were wanting to know if I was interested in helping.  Ever since I have been with CASA, it has been a tradition to do this so it was an easy YES!  I will admit that I'm always hesitant about spending the money, though.  By the time Christmas rolls around, we're tapped out.  Our major annual expenses are due in November and then we have our own gifts to take care of.  And I just feel plain broke by the time I need to pick something up for Secret Santa.

But you know what?  I would rather spend money on someone who is really going to appreciate their gifts...it won't be "just another _______" that gets shoved in the back of the shelf collecting dust for who knows how many years.  I still remember the time I was doing my internship at CASA and we delivered gifts to the family who we were responsible for.  It was so heartwarming to see the kiddos smile and holler with excitement as they received their presents.  Don't get me wrong--I appreciate any gift that I am ever given...but I couldn't imagine being a child and wondering if I would get a birthday or Christmas gift this year.  And if not, what do you tell people when they casually ask, "What did you get for your birthday/Christmas?"  Do you just make something up and hope nobody knows the difference???

In the end, I always feel good about buying my Secret Santa items and feel super guilty for originally thinking "but I can't afford it this year...."  For many kids, this is the only time of year when they get something new.  Heck, my own Grandma once told us that when they were kids, they were so broke that they received only 1 doll for Christmas...and that was ALL they got throughout the entire year.  And here I am, in the course of 12 months, spending money on food we don't eat, unworn clothes that get thrown to the back of the closet and God knows what else kind of wasteful spending I do.  But having the financial ability to spend a few extra dollars at the end of the year and knowing it will bring a smile to a child's face is priceless :-)

December 11, 12 & 13th

So much for blogging a thanks each and every day!  Good thing there aren't too many weekends left before Christmas Eve to distract me :-)

December 11:  Naps.

I took my first nap in MONTHS on Saturday!  I "slept in" about 30 minutes later than I get up during the work week, made some coffee and started in on a grant report...Justin got home later that morning from a side job and I helped him make a lunch of Fried Chicken, jalapeno potatoes and fried eggs.  After cleaning up the kitchen, we started in on other parts of the house & then it was time for the K-State/Loyola game.  Within minutes, Justin was asleep in his "thrown" and I curled up on the couch under a blanket...a few minutes after the second half started I could feel my eyes getting heavy!  I really didn't do anything that would wear me out but I still dozed off for about 20 minutes :-)  Nothing like the 2-3 hour naps I prefer but a nap is a nap...I will never complain!

December 12:  Patience.

This is something that I don't have much of...just ask Justin ;-)  There are days when I can roll with the punches...but then there are days when everyone is wasting time and moving like snails.  This latter scenario is what usually tests my patience and I'm glad I have learned to realize that.  But I am thankful for what little patience I do have because there's nothing worse than losing your cool over absolutely nothing :-)

December 13: Caffeine

Yes, I realize that may seem inappropriate to some...but caffeine has become my best friend!  On a side note, I learned NEVER to say that in front of my 6th Graders because they LOVE pointing out that caffeine can be bad for a person ;-)  Anyhow, back to the subject at hand--there's times I can't get through the day without it and today was one of those days.  Last night, I was still wide awake at 11:30pm for no reason at all.  I must say, the morning wasn't as bad as I thought it would be but it wasn't easy either.  Things went pretty well until my coffee wore off around 12pm and I hit rock bottom...but guess I'll just have to go to bed early tonight to make up for everything!

December 10

December 10:  Energy.

If I could be like any "bunny" in the world, it would be this guy ------>

He just keeps going...and going...and going.

In my personal opinion, energy is nothing more than a state of mind.  Just when you think you're done in and can't go any further, you manage to push on through and keep going.

I will admit, there's days I don't want to push on through.  I keep telling myself how tired I am and I can't do anymore.

But usually, I'm not really "tired."  Instead, I'm tired of doing stuff.  I just want to sit on my happy rump and veg out.  It would be nice if the world would just stop while I decided to chill out but unfortunately things don't work that way.

We have a cousin who is fighting what the doctors believe to be an extremely aggressive form of MS...She is now in her early 40s but has been unable to ambulate on her own for a very long time now.  It has been a very emotionally taxing and scary journey for our family...but it's even scarier to think that you can go from doing everything you ever wanted to do to being incapable of accomplishing the most basic daily living skills. 

Many of the things that I am thankful for are the things I take for granted.  We are not promised tomorrow and we never know what the next day may bring.  Illnesses develop, accidents occur and the idea of energy may still exist but you may lack the ability to act on it.  Don't get me wrong, I still don't want to deal with tonight's supper that needs put away.  It's easy to tell myself, "I'm too tired to deal with it right now" but what if I didn't even have the option of doing it myself??  I'm not sure how my initial thanks for energy has turned into a thanksgiving for ability, but it has!  I guess it's just another way of realizing that I need to count every blessing that I am given :-)

December 9

December 9:  My Senses.

First, I would never claim to be thankful for my common sense because somedays I'm convinced I missed the Common Sense Boat.  But....I am thankful for all of my 5 senses.

This may sounds lame and cliche to some.  However, one of the district Occupational Therapists and I were talking a few months ago about would we rather lose our hearing or our vision--assuming we could only have one and not the other...and I would definately give up my hearing first!

In college, I babysat a school-aged boy who was blind and essentially had no vision since birth.  He never knew what the world around him looked like.  Intellectually, that made sense.  But one day, he forgot his cane at school so we went back to pick it up.  Once we got out of the building, he started running and skipping with excitement...but suddenly he stopped and said, "Woah--babysitter. How far have we gone?!" with obvious panic in his voice.

Because of the running and skipping, he was unable to gauge how far he had gone...therefore, he had no idea where the sidewalk would end, how quickly the driveway was approaching or where the curbing was.  When walking, he knew exactly where everything was.  For me, that was an eye opening experience (and really, no pun intended!!!).  I take so much of my surroundings for granted and to think that running a few feet would throw you into a world of the unknown...

Back to the question posed by the OT.  Really, I don't want to lose any of my senses.  I've never had glasses--last time my eyesight was checked, it was 20/13.  My hearing is pretty good except for those days when I'm really congested :-)  My sense of taste is superb, my touch is tactile and my sense of smell is pretty good...except for, once agan, I'm congested!

I'm a VERY visual person.  I could spend hours at a time studying an inanimate object and love every minute of it...earlier this week, K-Mart received their shipment of "unique" Poinsettas and I had been waiting all season long for them.  The pink ones were absolutely stunning but I couldn't resist a blue one!

This is not the best picture of the plant, but it does show the flecks of glitter.  I know they doctored the plant up, but it's still gorgeous...and something so simple makes me thankful for my senses allowing me to enjoy the world around me :-)  And as pretty as they are, I may be tempted to fill our hearth with them next Christmas season!

December 8

December 8:  House Pets.

I'm pretty sure you all know that our world revolves around our dog, Mitzi, and our cat, Malcolm...My brother always says, "You need to find a hobby" whenever I tell him stories about our animals.  I like to think that he just doesn't care because he doesn't realize how cute/funny they are!  And plus, Shawn spends all day around cows and when do they do anything cute?!  He's just missing out on the fun of house pets!

But really, I am thankful for our animals.  I could have had the absolute worst day on earth and when I walk through the door to meet Mitzi bouncing off the couch with excitement to see me, it just warms my heart...or when Malcolm decides to stop ignoring us and hang out for a bit, it brings a smile to our faces.

It's common knowledge that people with pets tend to live longer and happier lives...and I can understand why.  Granted, there are days when the animals just drive me nuts, cost us bunches of money or just turn into a major inconvenience...but they're still worth it!



One afternoon I found Malcolm trying to attack the miniature marshmallows...apparently they are super fun for him to bat around!



And when one marshmallow wasn't fun enough, he tried to dump the bag off the counter so they'd spill...smart of him, but annoying!



I took a bathroom break while folding laundry one day and came back to this!  She's always one for making herself comfy



And how can you NOT laugh when a dog comes to a screeching halt and this is what they look like?!

Giving Thanks

During the month of November, I kept seeing these really neat posts on Facebook where someone would state what they were thankful for each and every day.  I thought it was a neat idea but since I was behind on getting started, I figured I would do it later on.

I originally intended to do it at the start of Advent...but we were travelling during the First Sunday so that didn't happen.  Hanukkah started 5 days ago and I'm not Jewish, so that would be kinda weird.  If I don't start soon, the month will soon be over! 

As is the story of my life, sometimes I just have to play "catch-up" and that's what I'm going to do!  Rather than find a significant date, I'll just start with December 1st and hopefully I will blog a "thanks" every day until Christmas Eve!

December 1:  Good health.  I was in bed this day with a horrible sinus infection.  I couldn't pick my head up without it throbbing out of control, if I would stand up the vertigo would kick in, my left ear hurt deep inside and my jawbone just ached.  I was miserable.  But I also knew that it would go away with enough rest, medication and fluids.  It's easy to pity yourself when you're sick, but it's also important to realize that not all illnesses in this world go away with rest and meds.  And then I realize my sinus infection isn't that bad, after all!

December 2: A roof over our head.  We finally received a new piece of furniture on this day!  I was so excited but frustrated by the process we endured before the table finally arrived.  A sense of relief came over me once the table was placed in the living room and I started to put my holiday knick-knacks on it.  But I was also overcome with thoughts about people and families who have no place to call home...and here I am stressing about a stupid table!  I can't remember the exact numbers but Manhattan has an alarming rate of "homelessness."  In fact, we have a new shelter that is much larger than the previous one because they consistently had a waitlist and were turning people away.  There's a significant population of USD 383 students who have no home and I had an 8th Grader tell me just the other day that's he scared to wind up homeless again--in front of the entire class.  I have had many clients over the years who have been displaced throughout their lives.  I should just be thankful that we have a warm place to call home!

December 3: Food to eat.  I tried a new pork roast recipe and it turned out horrible.  We couldn't even eat it.  I tried salvaging it with the advice of a friend's husband but it wound up in the trash.  It was too late in the evening to make a new meal, but we found stuff in the fridge and freezer to fill us up.  I was frustrated by the situation but obviously we didn't go to bed hungry.  Food is one part of our monthly budget that we don't skimp on...we don't eat Ramen Noodles every day but we don't eat high on the hog either.  We are always satisfied and have extra food on hand.  And then I think about one kiddo in particular who never knows when their next meal will be.  I have no idea what it would be like to go hungry...or to be a parent who can't keep food on the table. 

December 4: Having a job.  I spent a few hours at the office preparing for our upcoming move...I despise moving but it's part of life!  And anymore, having a job is NOT a guaranteed part of life.  The unemployment rate remains steady and here I am with 2 jobs.  I have always had two jobs and this arrangement has allowed me to have a roof over my head, a vehicle to get me places, money to pay my bills and *sometimes* a little left over at the end of the month.  My field does not pay a lucrative salary by any means and we have to budget accordingly.  But I still have not one, but two, jobs during a time when others would be thrilled to find steady employment.

December 5: A church to call home.  I hated going to church as a kid...and there's days I still hate going.  I hate getting out of my pajamas, doing my hair and putting on decent clothes when I could have otherwise had a "day-off."  But once I drag myself to the church, my attitude totally changes.  Justin and I spent quite a while finding a church to call home and we finally found it...The priest is great, the worshippers are great and the Holy Eucharist is great.  But more importantly, our church provides us with a very strong spiritual foundation.  Because of this we are able to recharge our batteries on a weekly basis and also reposition our moral compass so we can continue to do right in His way.

December 6: Justin.  I happen to think the world of him :-)  By the time school was over with yesterday, I started to feel ill and weak again.  I had several appointments to attend to and then I headed home to load up on Nyquill, cough drops and rest on the couch while I did some computer-based stuff for work.  Once everything that had to be done was complete, I called it a night.  I woke up around 11:15pm as Justin was coming to bed--I asked why he was up so late and he had spent the past couple of hours taking care of everything around the house that I didn't get to!  Ahhhhhhhhh :-)

December 7:  My dentist.  In addition to church, I always hated going to the dentist as a kid.  It hurt when they cleaned my teeth!  Nothing was wrong with my gums so I still don't understand the pain factor...but I have a great dentist now.  Today was the last of many fillings...it started with a root canal, subsequent crown and a mouthful of cavities this past Spring but we're finally wrapping things up.  Luckily, I like my dentist so it's okay that I'm at her office all the time!  Dr. Ellen always makes sure I am super comfortable, the staff is more than accomodating of appointment changes and the best part--her procedures never hurt!

One Year Ago

I look forward to the annual Pumpkin Patch craft show that is held at CiCo Park each fall...I didn't make it there this year, but last year I went with my friend Jenny and her two boys.  And what an ordeal that reminds me of!

Last year we went to the Pumpkin Patch on a Saturday.  I had done a quick 30 minute circuit work-out the day before and my arms were kinda sore...and by Sunday, they were super sore and not really wanting to bend at the elbow.  It was something I hadn't really experienced before but I hadn't had any weights in a couple of weeks so I figured my arms were just really out of shape.

Come Monday, my arms were still extremely sore and I was drained.  Mom was in town and we ran some wedding errands.  But all I wanted to do was sleep and drink 7-Up.  I really don't like soda--unless it has vodka in it--so I should have known something was wrong.

Later that night, I took my sweatshirt off to get in the shower and my arms were swollen.  I decided to ice them while I slept in hopes that the inflamation would go down...but as luck had it, the oncall phone rang all night long and I didn't have a chance to stay on the ice.

I woke up on Tuesday morning and my arms were huge.  Like Popeye the Sailor Man huge.  And they wouldn't extend straight--they were stuck in a 90 degree angle.  I felt like John McCain.  They hurt and tingled like they had fallen sleep and weren't able to "wake up".  It was the most uncomfortable feeling in the world.  I gave in, called my doctor's office and they worked me in to see the PA.  I went to my appointment and the PA was completely dumbfounded, especially since I couldn't even flex my muscles--it was like any muscle I had was completely gone.  She got my regular doctor into the exam room and right away Dr. Morin started throwing around all these words that I had never heard before--she had me go to the lab for some bloodwork and said they'd call me with the results in a few hours...but she advised me to call them if I started to feel worse.

I returned home--the drive was an experience of its own considering I could only move my shoulders--and barely, at that--but I survived without going off the road.  The pain was getting worse, my arms were now hot and the tingling was out of control.  I picked up the phone to call my Doctor again just to find they were calling me.  My lab results had just come back and they were admitting me to the hospital in 20 minutes.

What?!  Just because my arms are hot, swollen and immobile I have to go to the hospital?!  I was not a fan of this idea AT ALL but I went ahead and called Mom and Justin in tears to let them know what was going on while I packed my overnight bag of pajamas, hair products, make-up and a fresh change of clothes.

Boy, was I surprised when I got to the hospital.  The admissions clerk took me up the elevator and we walked past the regular rooms and I was a bit confused, but assumed maybe we were headed for x-rays or more lab work. We approached the ICU Ward and she took me into "my room."  My nurse, Sheila, explained that I would be here for at least several days and because there's three levels of intensive care, I would be admitted at the middle level.  All I could think was how I felt fine--and looked fine--and they're sticking me in ICU?!  Within minutes Mom arrived, then Justin and we were buzzing with questions.

We found out that my diagnosis was rhabdomyloysis with compartment syndrome.  Rhabdo is the breakdown of muscle fibers resulting in the release of muscle fiber contents (myoglobin) into the bloodstream.   Compartment syndrome is defined as "a painful condition that occurs when pressure within the muscles builds to dangerous levels. This pressure can decrease blood flow, which prevents nourishment and oxygen from reaching nerve and muscle cells."  No wonder my arms were tingly and immobile!

Upon my admission, my creatine levels were 40,00+ and they should not exceed 100.  My levels had been 20,000 just a few hours before so things were becoming very bad, very quickly...they were fully expecting the CPK to hit my kidneys and result in renal failure but THANK GOD--for whatever unknown reason--my kidneys survived the attack.  Later that night, I was told an orthopaedic surgeon would be coming by to assess my arms as they would have to cut incisions into my biceps to relieve the pressure and swelling.  Once again--THANK GOD--my levels platued at around the 40-thousand peak and they called off the surgeon! 

I stayed in ICU for several days with them pushing IVs through me like crazy in order to bring my CPK levels down--the worst part was crippling back and forth from the toilet every 5 minutes from all the fluids!  By the time I was moved to a regular room I was completely wiped out...but on the upside, Mercy has really good chocolate chip cookies :-)  They finally let me go when my levels were down around 13,000 and by the next day I had dropped to 4,000!   I was never able to do my make-up, or my hair or put on my street clothes while I was there but the IVs had worked--I was on my way back to normal!

Dr. Morin and 5 different specialists have no idea why I ended up with rhabdo--or if I'll ever end up dealing with it again.  Considering I was in good physical shape, it made no sense for it to happen after a work-out.  There's times I become paranoid following a trip to the gym, especially a tough one...but I can't live my life in fear of my body freaking out on me.  It's crazy to think that the whole ordeal was one year ago but it's even crazier that I didn't make it to the Pumpkin Patch this year!  Guess I'll have to wait 11 more months :-)

A Hidden Blessing

This evening, I wrapped up a slice of our wedding cake and a slice of Justin's groom's cake so that it could go into the freezer until our 1 year anniversary.

I didn't freeze the entire cutting cake as our cake lady actually makes each couple a replica of their cake for their anniversary.  But I still wanted to have some of the original cake for nostalgia's sake!

After I removed the cake from the board, this is what I found...

I have no idea why the picture is upside down...or how to flip it the correct direction.  So consider this a good time to practice your up-side down reading skills.  We all have some grade school teacher in us!

Karen was such a pleasure to work with and she was very caring.  I was completely shocked to find a handwritten message from her blessing us on our big day!

When it came time to find a cake lady, I became very worried.  I had heard horror stories about a local baker and the other ones I was not impressed with.  Some of their cakes looked like cakes I would have decorated back in my 4-H days.  I did a Google search and found http://www.creativecakesandcookies.org/ out of Wamego and emailed the gal...she responded right away and I set-up our first consultation.

Karen exceeded all of our expectations.  She was very professional, even keeled but her creativity and skill level was beyond anything you could imagine.  Her specialty is fondant and at first I was hesitant--I've never tasted a fondant that I liked. 

Until I tasted her's.  She uses white chocolate and marshmallow creme for the base...it's heavenly :-)  I'm not a cake person at all but it's a different story when it comes to her cake.  She even went so far as to make a Caramel cake for Justin's cake--it's his favorite cake from his childhood.  Karen had never had it before but agreed to try it and it turned out GREAT!

Justin was not expecting a groom's cake at all...1) He didn't even know they existed until someone asked him if he had picked out his cake yet and 2) I consequently told him he wasn't having one b/c the regular cake was going to cost so much.  Wasn't that nice of me?!

Most groom's cakes revolve around a  hobby and frankly, Justin doesn't have time for hobbies because he works non-stop.  His days of KSU Basketball mean the world to him, so I sent Karen some pictures of his framed jersey.  When we got to the reception and saw how his cake turned out, I was beyond impressed!  And Justin was beyond surprised!!!

A "replica" of his Away-Game jersey



Our best close-up...the photographer has an awesome one showing all the details!  The cutting cake has a border of peacock feathers and each cupcake has a feather as well--she formed each feather, colored in the eye and then sprayed them with edible glitter!



Plenty of cupcakes but we were all too full to eat them!